Thai-Farang Relationship Advice | Managing Arguments

It is easy for foreigners in Thailand to make missteps with Thai wives, especially when it comes to handling arguments. Farang husbands often manage matrimonial fights the same way they would if they were married to a Western woman, forgetting that Thai logic and cultural norms are different in Thailand.

So in today’s post, we are going to cover a few tips that should help expats better manage arguments with their Thai wives or girlfriends, whether the woman be from Sakon Nakhon or somewhere else in Thailand.

1) Don’t spend more than a minute or so belaboring any one particular issue with your wife. Your insistence on “clearing the air” or “getting to the bottom of it” is just going to make matters worse.

2) If you think your Thai wife has done something wrong or has made a mistake, don’t ask her why she did it. You are just making her feel stupid and lose face.

3) Never insert yourself in an argument your wife is having with another member of her family in Thailand, even when asked.

4) Don’t try to win every argument. Let your wife win a few arguments and admit you’ve made mistakes, even if you don’t think you have made any. Marital happiness is better than winning.

5) No matter how bad the argument is, NEVER go to sleep on the couch — unless your wife tells you to do so. In general, Thai wives don’t condemn their husbands to the sofa. If you choose to sleep on the couch after an argument, she will think you don’t love her anymore.

Lastly, to quickly put an end to any argument, simply use the material in the following learn Thai language lesson:

ขอโทษ ขอโทษ ผมเป็นไอ้โง่ตลอดมา ขอบคุณที่แต่งงานกับผมนะ

Khăw thôt. Khăw thôt. Phŏm bpen âi-ngô dtà-làwt mah. Khàwp khun thêe dtàeng-ngahn gàp phŏm ná.

Request punishment. Request punishment. I be idiot always. Thank you who marry with me (soften).

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ve always been an idiot. Thanks for marrying me.

————

For additional info on how foreigners can maintain a good relationship with their Thai wives, check out our Thai marriage advice from the perspective of Buddhist monks in Thailand.

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David Alan

Ajarn at Sakon Nakhon Rajabhat University

David Alan is an educator, writer, and podcaster who has been working with Thai universities for over 20 years. He has co-written several books on learning the Thai language, and lives with his Thai wife and daughters on a farm in Sakon Nakhon (Northeast Thailand).

Thai-Farang Relationship Advice | Managing Arguments

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