Thailand Dowry Culture: Defending a Sin Sod (Bride Price)
The Thai dowry or bride price, known as a “sin sod” (สินสอด), is a practice that many Westerners view as a backwards tradition. Even some wealthier, educated Thais believe this old wedding custom should be abandoned. Thais jokingly say that the “sin sod” (pronounced sin sawt) is to reimburse the bride’s mom for her “mother’s milk”. If that were really the reason, then the practice should be put out to pasture. But it isn’t. In reality, there are many sound, practical reasons for why the Thai dowry was (and still remains) a wise tradition that protects many Thai brides and their parents.
For starters, it is not uncommon for young Thai men (especially in rural areas) to abandon their wives, who they never legally married, after they have a child. While Thai law states that both the father and mother are legally obligated to financially support their child until the age of 20, in reality when the father disappears to another village, they are rarely if ever tracked down by the mother, who ends up raising the child with her parents. The Thai dowry thus helps to financially support the child.
Next, young Thai men often live dangerously, and drive motorbikes recklessly. As we talked about in our article “Is Driving in Thailand safe?” young Thai males are known to speed down dark roads at night without a helmet after downing several beers or glasses of lao khao (white whiskey). The result is that motorbike accidents (injuries) are the leading cause of death for Thai men in their 20s.
Anyone who has taught for a long time in Thailand will tell you how shocking it is to discover how many students have lost their father. The Thai dowry (sin sot) thus also serves as a type of life insurance policy that helps the young widow and her parents raise the couple’s child (if they have one).
Should Foreigners Pay the Thai Dowry?
What about those foreigners who complain about having to pay a bride price, calling it a ridiculous antiquated practice? Should they quit complaining and pay up? Yes, for good reasons the Thai “sin sod” should be paid by foreign husbands, even if they are marrying a Thai woman who has been previously married or already has a child.
Why? Because the foreigner-Thai divorce rate is likely well over 50%. There are no official statistics on this, but around a 70% divorce rate is our educated guess, and we think few Thai lawyers or long-time expats in Thailand would argue with that. The Thai dowry thus again serves as protection for the bride if the marriage ends in a divorce, there are no significant assets to split, and the foreigner skips town or leaves the country.
What if the Thai woman is no longer of child bearing age, or for some reason the couple is not able to have a child, should the Thai dowry be paid then? Yes, the “sin sod” should still be paid up front in most cases. The first and most important reason is that when you marry a Thai woman, you marry the family.
In Thai culture, children are expected to support their elderly parents. The Thai government’s old age allowance is only 600-1000 baht a month, and not nearly enough for most elderly. If you don’t pay the Thai dowry up front, you’ll still be expected to support the wife’s parents with a small monthly allowance (unless they are financially well-off).
Another reason for foreigners paying the Thai dowry is that when you get married in Thailand, you are expected to show that you can financially support the bride. And a demonstration of this ability is in the form of the “sin sod,” which is on display on a silver bowl at the wedding.
Read the Full and Newly Edited Version of This Essay
in Why Thailand: Short Essays on Thai Culture, Language, and Life
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